Do you believe in love at first sight?

Do you take a moment’s pause when you hear people say they have experienced love at first sight? Do you wonder about the men and women who say they “just knew” their now-partners were their soul mates within minutes of meeting them? Do you think it is even possible to experience the sentiments they claim? Or is it more likely that they are projecting long-held fantasies on to someone they just met? In today’s modern day society, it’s easy to see why so many people believe in love at first sight, by taking a glimpse at pop culture and everything from technology to the media. In the world of smart phones, texting, and tweeting, people may very well fool themselves into believing that instant gratification can also apply to matters of the heart.  They think: If I can send and receive communication immediately, why can’t I be in love with or love someone immediately? Just watch a few episodes of ABC’s, The Bachelor or Bachelorette to see this notion of instant love in action. Within three to four weeks of meeting the Bachelor or Bachelorette, while competing against twenty-five others for his or her heart, the “contestants” are already falling madly in love and declaring it so to the object of their affection. Shows like these lead some people to believe that they can love someone just by seeing them from across a crowded room. Sorry, we’re not buying it. It’s doubtful that they can know they are meant to be with someone so quickly. Often times, love at first sight is a fantasy people want to believe in.  These are the romantic stories people choose to tell themselves, and the world only after their love has had time to grow. People who have learned real lessons about love know that it isn’t about being swept off your feet, quickly winning someone over, or feeling that elusive yet perfect lightning bolt from the very first meeting. They know that the seedlings of love begin when you let someone in the door, and that love only flourishes when you allow that person to come inside and stay awhile. They are aware that it takes time to develop trust, vulnerability, and real intimacy. They know a real love relationship is not just about the easy stuff, like the good times and laughs; it’s about loving someone despite their idiosyncrasies. Additionally, they may know that people often confuse sex and love–that men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love.  They know love is not just about great sex, but that it’s also about feeling a sense of peace, comfort and emotional safety with someone.  Ultimately, they believe these things take time. To figure out whether or not you believe in love at first sight, you must examine your definition of love. What does it mean to be in love or to love someone in the romantic sense, anyway? It sounds simple, but when people throw the term around so liberally, especially before really knowing someone, they ultimately dilute its meaning.  If love actually means to accept someone’s heart and to give that person yours, fully, is it wildly unrealistic to think it could be experienced immediately? Do you know what love really is? Do you think it could occur at first sight? Best Regards, Craig Donaldson President Model Quality Introductions (866) 663-3574

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